Obituary: Arthur Soper Of Chipping Norton, peacefully on 21st July aged 85 years. Much loved and sadly missed by all his family. Funeral service at St. Mary’s Church, Chipping Norton on Thursday 31st July at 2.00p.m. Flowers invited or donations for Cancer Research UK c/o A.L. Sole & Son, Bidston Close, Over Norton. OX7 5PP
Windows vs. Ford Motor Co.
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,
"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:
If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........twice a day.
2.. Driving along your car would 'freeze', no steering, no brakes, no control. no Control/Alt/Del at 70mph .
3... Occasionally your car would die for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4.... Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5..... Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6..... The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.
7....... The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?"before deploying.
8........ Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9......... Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10........... You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
11……….. Drive past scantily clad women near a beach only to find it now has got a virus.
12………… Car refuses to start, overheat, engine screams out of control because of this virus.
And the best……..
13…………… Whenever you use the car to shop from then on it always stops outside that shop.
PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call "customer service" in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!
Co-op finds buyer for pharmacy chain as Bestway agrees to pay £620m
The Co-op has found a buyer willing to pay £620m for its pharmacy chain as the group desperately attempts to shore up finances following a series of scandals.
Cash and carry owner Bestway will take control of all 770 shops, which come with 7,000 employees, after winning an auction against private equity firm Carlyle and rivals Alliance Boots and Lloyds the Chemist.
The cash will be used to help the banking-to-funeral parlour giant cut debt and invest in core businesses after Co-op lost control of its bank and slumped to a £2.5bn loss last year.
The Co-op will continue to provide services to the pharmacy business for the next 18 months and Bestway will be allowed to use the Co-op name for 12 months.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/money/markets/article-2697611/Co-op-finds-buyer-pharmacy-chain-Bestway-agrees-pay-620m.html#ixzz37vBt9IUP
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Ed: Will this mean the pharmacy will not move into the new Co-op store? Will it stay where it is, the Co-op owning the property or what?
Challenging road trip for Top Gear presenters as cars are rescued near Charlbury
TOP Gear presenters were yesterday spotted rescuing cars from a ditch and a field near Charlbury.
Photographer Mark Hemsworth snapped James May and Jeremy Clarkson struggling on the side of the B4437 Forest Road yesterday afternoon.
He said Mr May’s silver Peugeot was pulled from a ditch by a recovery vehicle, while Mr Clarkson’s damaged black Peugeot was in a crop field.
Top Gear failed to respond last night when asked what had happened.
|Jeremy Clarkson, left, and James May at the scene|