FIRST AID UNIT

FIRST AID UNIT
Windows vs. Ford Motor Co.

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........twice a day.

2.. Driving along your car would 'freeze', no steering, no brakes, no control. no Control/Alt/Del at 70mph .

3... Occasionally your car would die for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4.... Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5..... Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6..... The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7....... The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?"before deploying.

8........ Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9......... Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10........... You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
 

11……….. Drive past scantily clad women near a beach only to find it now has got a virus.

12………… Car refuses to start, overheat, engine screams out of control because of this virus.

And the best……..

13…………… Whenever you use the car to shop from then on it always stops outside that shop.


PS - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call "customer service" in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!

Co-op finds buyer for pharmacy chain as Bestway agrees to pay £620m

Bestway: Pick-me-up
The Co-op has found a buyer willing to pay £620m for its pharmacy chain as the group desperately attempts to shore up finances following a series of scandals.
Cash and carry owner Bestway will take control of all 770 shops, which come with 7,000 employees, after winning an auction against private equity firm Carlyle and rivals Alliance Boots and Lloyds the Chemist.
The cash will be used to help the banking-to-funeral parlour giant cut debt and invest in core businesses after Co-op lost control of its bank and slumped to a £2.5bn loss last year.
The Co-op will continue to provide services to the pharmacy business for the next 18 months and Bestway will be allowed to use the Co-op name for 12 months.


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/money/markets/article-2697611/Co-op-finds-buyer-pharmacy-chain-Bestway-agrees-pay-620m.html#ixzz37vBt9IUP
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Ed: Will this mean the pharmacy will not move into the new Co-op store? Will it stay where it is, the Co-op owning the property or what?

Challenging road trip for Top Gear presenters as cars are rescued near Charlbury

Witney Gazette: Jeremy Clarkson’s black damaged Peugeot and James May’s silver Peugeot on the back of a recovery truck after being pulled out of a ditch  Pictures: Mark HemsworthBuy this photoJeremy Clarkson’s black damaged Peugeot and James May’s silver Peugeot on the back of a recovery truck after being pulled out of a ditch Pictures: Mark Hemsworth
TOP Gear presenters were yesterday spotted rescuing cars from a ditch and a field near Charlbury.
Photographer Mark Hemsworth snapped James May and Jeremy Clarkson struggling on the side of the B4437 Forest Road yesterday afternoon.
He said Mr May’s silver Peugeot was pulled from a ditch by a recovery vehicle, while Mr Clarkson’s damaged black Peugeot was in a crop field.
Top Gear failed to respond last night when asked what had happened.
Witney Gazette:
Jeremy Clarkson, left, and James May at the scene
Story: http://www.witneygazette.co.uk/news/11330422.Challenging_road_trip_for_Top_Gear_presenters_as_cars_are_rescued_near_Charlbury/?ref=ar

Consultation on West Oxfordshire homes draft plan

Witney Gazette: West Oxfordshire District CouncilWest Oxfordshire District Council
At least 9,450 homes could be built in West Oxfordshire by 2029 in a new draft local plan.
West Oxfordshire District Council’s cabinet yesterday agreed to consult on the document. It will replace a former strategy that ended in 2011, which said about 5,500 homes should be built, after taking into account the Strategic Housing Market Assessment (SHMA), published earlier this year.
The SHMA said 11,880 homes were needed, but the council said it had reduced its projections as it had “over-delivered” on previous targets.The consultation will be held from July 28 to September 19.

Football memorial game in honour of Chipping Norton man Shaun Weller nets £3,000

A FOOTBALL match held in memory of a young man who died aged just 22 raised £3,000 for the Oxford Cancer Research Centre. Chipping Norton FC were beaten 5-0 by an Oxford United Legends team in the third annual Shaun Weller memorial match on Sunday.

Mr Weller, inset, who played for Chipping Norton, died of liver cancer in May 2012. As well as the match, the event featured a crossbar challenge, penalty shoot-out, face painting, tombola and raffle.

Mr Weller’s four-year-old daughter, Tiana-May Weller-Clarke, let off a balloon to mark the start of the game.
Chipping Norton FC secretary Paul Watson, who played in the match, said: “There was a good crowd and atmosphere. “Oxford gave us the runaround but it was brilliant to play in the game.”

Mike Tysoe recreation ground


Three major developments were approved by West Oxfordshire District Council on Monday.


The council’s Uplands Area planning committee gave the green light to an 80-bed care home at Rockhill Farm on London Road, changes to plans for a new hotel complex at Tracey Farm in Great Tew and the conversion of part of Chipping Norton Baptist Church into flats.

The extra care development at Rockhill Farm will provide a total of 80 flats, likely to be a split of between 32 one-bedroom properties and 48 two-bedroom properties. It will also have 16 residential dwellings and associated landscaping, parking and access onto the site which lies next to the town’s hospital. Town councillors had demanded the design be altered so the front elevation was lowered from three to one storey and more in keeping with surrounding properties. Town Mayor Mike Tysoe said it was ‘nice to hear’ this had been approved although he expressed some concern the town has too much of this kind of housing, especially with forthcoming extra care housing plans at the former Penhurst School site.

The Grade II-listed baptist church – established in 1733 and located on New Street – has been the subject of a planning stalemate in recent years with the church involved in a legal wrangle with a previous developer which gained permission to convert it into four flats but did not undertake any building work. Four flats will be located on the ground floor, in the oldest part of the building, with four duplex flats on the first and second floors in the newer parts of the church. The church space will be fully renovated at the cost of the developer, with its capacity being reduced from the existing 500 to 100. Cllr Tysoe said the plan will help to save a building that is ‘falling to pieces’ but raised concerns about the lack of parking for the flats.

The Great Tew application involves changes to an approved scheme to convert existing farm buildings into a luxury hotel for the Soho House hotel group.

Story: http://www.banburyguardian.co.uk/news/care-home-flats-and-a-hotel-are-on-the-horizon-1-6171535

County Councillor Hilary Biles writes in a discussion on the forum. Firstly it is not a'care home' that has been granted permission but Extra Care Housing. This is similar to sheltered housing but when you are in need of more help you are able to stay in your flat and the services will come in to you. It is no secret we have an aging population and there are few Care home and Nursing home places. We need this in Chipping Norton just as we need homes for our younger people. This development has been in the strategy for many years and I for one am pleased it now can move forward giving many elderley residents of Chipping Norton the opportunity to stay in the town they have lived in and supported for many years.

From NHS Website: Extra care

Extra care housing is sometimes referred to as very sheltered housing or housing with care. It is social or private housing that has been modified to suit people with long-term conditions or disabilities that make living in their own home difficult, but who don't want to move into a residential care home.
Extra care housing includes converted properties and purpose-built accommodation such as retirement villages, apartments and bungalows. They can be large-scale villages with up to 300 properties. Some of these developments are for sale, others to rent, and some are a mixture of both through shared ownership schemes. Extra care housing can be run by housing associations and charities, local authorities or private sector providers.
Most residents are older people, but this type of housing is becoming popular with people with disabilities regardless of their age. It is usually seen as a long-term housing solution, but certain developments offer rehabilitation and intermediate care options for residents, and some specialise in care for people with dementia.
What are the benefits of extra care housing?
Extra care housing gives people the opportunity to live independently in a home of their own, but with other services on hand if they need them. These extra facilities vary depending on the site, but can include:
24-hour access to emergency support
an on-site care team
rehabilitation services
day centre activities
a restaurant or some kind of meal provision
laundry
fitness facilities and classes
a base for healthcare workers

Some have mini-buses for residents and provide cleaning and maintenance for the property and grounds. These additional services will be charged for. Extra care housing residents still have access to means-tested local authority services.


Ed: I'm sure my maths are up to speed, it says 80 bed care home (whatever it is?) yet 32 one bed and 48 two bed comes to my reckoning 128? plus 16 residential dwellings adding say another 32 puts the figure nearer 160. So while it is not a care home for the elderly it does say Extra care housing for people with long term conditions, what conditions? I cannot see Chippy or this area raising enough of its own 'needy', I do hope Chippy doesn't become a dumping ground for other areas undesirables, what will it be called? Cotshill Hospital?  

Planning Application


Better late than never an update from a story by a Journal reader who was a witness to the event a couple of weeks ago.

Thames Valley Police is appealing for witnesses after a series of attempted burglaries and thefts in the Chipping Norton, Oxford and Middle Barton areas overnight from midnight last Monday (30/6) to 3.30am last Tuesday (July 1).
A number of offences were committed involving offenders entering unlocked vehicles and garages, entering houses and stealing items such as sat navs, loose cash and mobile phones.
The following incidents are under investigation and thought to be linked:
An attempted burglary at a dwelling in Park Road, Chipping Norton
A burglary non-dwelling in Park Road where offenders entered an unsecured garage.
A second burglary non-dwelling in Park Rd where offenders entered an unsecured garage.
A theft from a motor vehicle in Marlborough Rd, Chipping Norton where offenders entered an unsecured car and stole property.
A second theft from a motor vehicle in Park Rd, Chipping Norton where offenders entered an unsecured car and stole property.
An incident of vehicle interference in Crossway, Middle Barton where offenders entered unsecure car and searched the vehicle.
A second incident of vehicle interference in Frances Rd, Middle Barton where offenders entered an unsecured car and searched the vehicle.
A theft from motor vehicle in Park Rd, Chipping Norton where offenders entered an unsecured car and searched the vehicle.
A theft of a silver Vauxhall Astra car stolen from Grebe Close, Oxford between 9pm and midnight on Monday (June 30).
A theft from a motor vehicle in Westbury Crescent, Oxford, where number plates were stolen between 9pm and midnight on Monday (June 30).
Anyone with information regarding any of these incidents that may assist the investigation should contact PC Craig Vaughan of Witney police station on the Thames Valley Police 24-hour non-emergency number 101.
If you don’t want to speak directly to the police, you can contact the independent charity Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111 or online at crimestoppers-uk.org.
No personal details are taken, information is not traced or recorded and you will not go to court.

Full story: http://www.banburyguardian.co.uk/news/local-news/appeal-for-witnesses-after-chipping-norton-burglaries-1-6174815